Guilty!

And because this is a blog (that I firmly promised myself), which will encapsulate my thoughts, let me share to you that I have been feeling lots of guilt lately.

Guilt from me gaining weight by the minute (make that by the seconds). My dear husband bought me Sketchers Shape Ups in the hopes that I exercise one of these days. My husband has not lost hope yet, then so must I. To remove this guilt, I must loose 30 lbs. before my baby's 1st birthday. (I hope may nabibiling willpower sa ACE hardware so I can buy truckloads.)

Guilt from missing 2 Sunday Masses already. I will confess and make a promise never to miss Sunday masses again.

Guilt that I have been neglecting my friends because I am a new mom and between the work and the baby I have no energy anymore. So goodluck finding time diba? However, I must decide to save a little bit of my time for me and my girls to have a little bit of normalcy naman in my life therefore, I must then schedule that long overdue girl night (or day) out by June. (Calling Michy and Josexy. Jowee if only you are here.)

Guilt from leaving my baby at home and continuing to work. See, my baby has not gained weight for the last month. After knowing this, I cried while waiting for our turn during our last pedia visit. How uncool am I? It has been a hard two months for my baby and me. The teething, weaning, introduction of solids; but the biggest factor is I am now away from him 9-10 hours during weekdays.

Motherhood is a balancing act. It has tested my sanity, management skills, willpower and persistence for the last six months. In a way I feel like am living in two worlds (work and home). The way I know how to reconcile the two worlds is for me to get it together (none of my six sigma classes prepared me for this!).

If only I can get rid of the guilt soon and start thinking like a normal person. Anyway, back to Elijah. Since he has not been gaining weight, I have been carbo loading him like an underage Chinese gymnast about to join the Olympics. He still hates the bottle. And he hates it with pure loathing. He swats, throws, and kicks it. But he likes eating solids. He eats six times a day now.

So far his favorites are: squash, avocadoes and brown rice.

See how I prepare his food. Today's menu: apples + pears.

What lovely colors no?

1) With clean hands peel and dice the fruits.

2) Put them inside the osterizer (Yay! I bought na my own osterizer hehe).

3) The finished product.

4) I put them inside colorful little containers.

5) I set aside, the other two so I can freeze and serve it the next day.

That's it pancit. Repeat steps for other veggies and fruits. So far these are the food he's already eaten: sayote, potatoes, egg, wheat, banana, rice, mangoes.

Hope he gains weight na. That’s all I’m praying now.

He is so precious, I tell you!